I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
