you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
