can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
