i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
