i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
