If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
