I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
