he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
