it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Randomize
