No, drunk sperm still make babies.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
