There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
