it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
