quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
