Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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