You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
