Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
