Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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