Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize