I CAN MOONWALK!
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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