Me too!
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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