My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
he fucked my hip out of place.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
