no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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