i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
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