I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize