she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
