it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
