Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
