Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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