I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
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you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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