I heard we made out
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
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