some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
