What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
