I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
