Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
