So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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