we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
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