I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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