Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
another moral hangover. fuck.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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