Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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