So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
