Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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