i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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