Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
