I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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