Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
