ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Randomize
