I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Mom said you looked used
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
