What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
