He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize