She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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