Walk of Shame. In a state park.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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