I cockslap morals
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
