Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
