I wanna passion pit in your ass
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
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I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
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Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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