No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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