All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
