i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
