got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
