i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
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